Tiresome Status Updates…it’s the reason I unfriended you

Scrolling through my news feed multiple times a day, can sometimes put me in a foul mood.  Here’s a few of my least favorite status updates.

1.  “Shared” pictures from some stupid page you “liked”.

(If I wanted to constantly see pictures of kitties typing on a keyboard, baby orangutans having a bad hair day, or tons of pictures of camels on Wednesdays, all with kitschy slogans…I would have “liked” that page.  So please quit “sharing”!)

 

(source)

2.  The constant complainer.

“i hate my job, i hate my car, i hate my house, i hate my life…fml”

“The flu sucks…”

“I’m crying again.  Why can’t things get better?”

“Another flat tire.  I can’t deal!”

(I really wish there was a “I don’t give a %*&^” button, because all your negativity brings me down.)

3.  The perplexing cryptic updater.

If only it was that easy”

“T-minus 36 hours, 24 minutes & 18 seconds…”

“If you were a real friend, I wouldn’t be in this situation”

(You took the time and effort to post this crazy stuff, now all of us want to know the rest of the story.  Don’t make us sit here in suspense, scrolling through the comments to see if you’ve elaborated on your post.)

4.  The “Um…is this really the best time?”

“Just waiting on the anesthesiologist to get here.  Bye, Bye gallbladder!”

“If this guy in front of me doesn’t go faster, I’m going to scream!  Why even have a Porsche if you can’t drive fast?!”

“I can’t seem to stay awake!  School is sooooo boring!!  MUST. HAVE. CAFFEINE.”

5.  The “Aren’t I the S*$@?!” updater.

“All 3 cars are washed, main house & guest house are clean, dinner is cooked, 126 loads of laundry are done & put away, hair is colored, dog is walked, bills are paid, ran 25 miles, plus a P90X workout! & I did it all in just under 20 minutes!!”

(Thank you very much!  Now I feel like a complete and total failure as a wife, mother, & woman.)

6.  Song Lyrics

(Yes, I know the words.  If I don’t, I probably don’t want to.  It may be exactly how you are feeling in this very moment, but just listen to the song, don’t share it.  And while you’re at it, don’t share the YouTube video of it, either.)

7.  Friends who constantly “check-in”.

“Eating waffles” at IHOP

“People watching” at Outlet Mall

“w/ my BFF” at home

8.  Updates about their children’s EVERY SINGLE milestone.

(I’m so guilty of this.  I think everyone should see just how cute my baby is…all the time!  This one really doesn’t annoy me, because I like to see just how cute your little one is too.  I just threw it in because I know it annoys some people.)

Comment below and tell me your status update pet peeves.  I know you have some!!

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3 Comments on “Tiresome Status Updates…it’s the reason I unfriended you”

  1. Meredith says:

    Absolutely hysterical. Absolutely true! I esp. hate on the #5-ers…

  2. Paul says:

    Funny and well done! Sadly, if these 8 kinds of posts could be banned, Facebook would cease to exist.


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